so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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