Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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