i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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