1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
