READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
