Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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