Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize