You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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