I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
