speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
how drunk are you?
Several
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
