Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I love having hate sex.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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