i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
so much tequila, so little girl.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
