I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
