I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
