Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
