Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
