what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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