so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
