the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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