i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
