Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We left the knife in your bed.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
