The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
