yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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