...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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