Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize