Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
