sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't deserve a penis
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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