I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
