i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
