I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
