I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
