He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Randomize
