i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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