so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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