yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
