Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
