I bet he comes in French.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
