they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
