someone threw a dead crab at me
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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