dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
