Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
