M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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