You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
