i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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