why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
