Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
