I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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