Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
