well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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