Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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