the new term for farting is butt boxing.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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