Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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