So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
