I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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