oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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