am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
