Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
