I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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