Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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