I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Hippo gnu deer
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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