Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
