I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
