he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
