pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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