So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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